Quotes from the online support group

Here you will find comments from participants in the online self-help groups on topics we encounter in everyday life.

"You must be sacrificing a lot?!"

  • "As a mother, you don't sacrifice yourself. What we do, we do voluntarily, because it's important to us, because we love our family. At first glance, the give and take isn't balanced. We don't always get back what we give. But in the long run, doing good always pays off."


  • "The word 'sacrifice' makes us victims. And we aren't. We always have our lives in our own hands, at all times. When we help our men, forgo things, and sometimes go beyond our limits, we do so out of love. Voluntary 'sacrifice' has something of a "must," a "suffering," a "fight." So let's not call it 'sacrifice,' but 'winning.' Because with our help, things sometimes get better, or even somewhat better."


  • "As a soldier, I don't see it that way anyway. As a medic, I don't see it that way either. My husband is also my comrade. So, there are several levels from which I view it. As a medic, I'm obligated to help (and I chose the profession because I enjoy it). As a comrade, I provide companionship. As a wife, I've said we'll go through good times and bad together. He would be there for me just the same. So, there's no question that we'll rock it together. Even though it's still really tough sometimes, of course. I'm focusing on what we've already achieved and that there are also good times. And it's nice to read here that none of you see it as a sacrifice either. I find that very touching. Your husbands all have wonderful women by their sides."

What does ATEK mean to you?!

  • Thanks to ATEK, after a 16-year relationship with a man suffering from severe chronic PTSD, I'm finally receiving ongoing support and help from others who are also affected. Here, I experience warmth, compassion, and above all, understanding and competent support for my needs and challenges. Until now, I'd only been invited to a few events, which were good, but lacked the continuity of this group. I also hadn't been offered a 24-hour emergency support group. Thanks to you, I no longer feel so alone. Thank you very much for that.
  • The ATEK eV association and its support group have become very important to me. Even though I was initially hesitant about opening up and even asking for help, I'm now simply happy to be a part of it and wouldn't want to miss the valuable exchange within the group. Not only do you benefit from the members' broad knowledge and diverse experiences, but you've also made friends along the way. In the end, I can say: No one is alone. Together we are strong.



"He chose that himself!"

I have been confronted with this question many times.

This was also the case when my father's girlfriend asked me this question. I was quite furious and responded as follows:

"And is that the justification for him having to bear his fate alone now? Is that the answer to the fact that he fought for you, so that you could sleep and live in peace, enjoy your everyday life without worries? And do you also tell your son, because he's a firefighter, that he can look after himself if he gets caught?


Our first responders perform their duties with complete commitment to their country and its people. They deserve respect and recognition, and I share that burden because I would also be at his side if he suffered a stroke or heart attack."

       

I think it's pure helplessness and ignorance that leads someone to think or say something like that. Maybe even ignorance, but I hope it's helplessness.

How ATEKeV works!

All day today, greylag geese have been flying over our garden, chattering loudly, in a V formation. I remember what science has discovered to be the reason for this type of flight.


With each wing beat, one bird creates an updraft for the bird immediately following. By flying in a V-formation, the flock manages to fly much farther than a single bird could. If a goose breaks formation, it suddenly feels the full force of air resistance and quickly returns to the formation to take advantage of the lift provided by the leading bird. When the lead goose tires, it rotates back to the lateral line, and another goose takes the lead.


The geese behind quack to encourage the geese in front to maintain their speed. Finally, and this is important: If a goose becomes sick or injured and falls out of formation, two other geese will fall out with that goose and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with the fallen goose until it can fly again. And then they take off again, either on their own or with another formation, to rejoin their group.

The behavior of greylag geese is surely very familiar to all of you. Today, I, for one, was reminded of ATEK eV, Sandra, and all the other wonderful women.


Women like us, in particular, rely on "upwind" to cope with everyday life, our professional lives, and our commitment to our men. Each member of the team creates "upwind" through their motivation, openness, respect, and friendly approachability.


Each of us is prepared, to the extent that our own strength allows, to go forward, directly into the wind, and thereby provide the women around us with the boost that will help them accomplish their tasks. And it's crystal clear to everyone on the team that we can, may, and must also let ourselves fall back, and then gratefully accept the boost that flows from the person at the front.

Praise, encouragement, and comfort from behind: that's certainly not only good for the geese, but definitely for all of us.

A soothing and calming force releases in us—just as it does in the geese—the certainty that even difficult times can be a part of life and that life can simply be. And in such times, as in the geese, we will feel the solidarity and support of those around us.


The geese formation reminded me of our precious group, which makes my journey much more pleasant than if I were flying alone. Because our togetherness is a tangible and valuable boost for all of us.

Perhaps you've also noticed how our group has always quietly provided a boost for all of us through our friendly approachability, our motivation, our humor, our respect, and our trust, and has also had an impact. And perhaps you're already finding it a little easier to accept encouragement and support from others.


Since meeting some of you, I've felt the necessary boost, like the greylag geese flying in formation. Especially in difficult times, this boost is doubly important. I'm looking forward to continuing to fly formation flights with each and every one of you. There's no better constellation for tackling the challenges that lie ahead.


THANK YOU for being there!